Hi,

Summer is in full swing!

This summer is not a typical summer at my home. My son, now 17 and about to enter his final school year, is busy with SATs, writing out essays to the universities, personal statements, shortlisting universities etc. My daughter, only a year younger, she too is excitedly looking into her choices of colleges. So our entire family is caught up in that theme this summer.

To breakup the routine, I love mini getaways to refresh and reboot. Two weeks back, we were off to the mountains in the KhaoYai province in Thailand to enjoy the fresh cool air and just chill! Last week we headed to Rayong – our second home near the beach and laze by the seaside.

Professionally, July is a very exciting time for me. I'm starting a year long Zero Limits Mastery program with Dr. Joe Vitale (from 'The Secret' and 70 other best selling books!) and the online marketing guru Alex Mandossian. I’m all jumpy and excited in my seat as I write. Being personally mentored by my idols, studying a topic I absolutely love, I am eager to learn and grow with guidance from the very best. So what else is possible for me? my clients? my loved ones? my life? As I embark this new journey professionally? I can’t wait to discover!

I hope you are enjoying your journey as you move forward.
No matter where you are at this point in life, remember to not take life too seriously.
Take time to relax and reboot.  If life is feeling like a struggle at the moment and you feel tired and exhausted…. it's a sign. Time Out. Do something Different.  It's a sign you are overthinking and over analyzing and over controlling it all.
There is another way - an easier, less complicated one too! 

My experience is that when I'm going in circles, getting expert guidance from those you trust and believe in can help you get to your goals faster, easier and you learn so much along the way. So, if you feel overwhelmed and stuck, get expert guidance! The best investment we make is the investment in ourselves! No one can ever take that away from you!  

To your continued happiness and success!

All good wishes,

4 Tips To Overcome Negative Self-Talk

• Do you have a little voice in your head that repeats negative thoughts and scenarios?
• Are you feeling discouraged and anxious that you can never have what you want?
• Do you feel confused and lack clarity on how to move forward?

Negative self-talk is something we all experience at different intensities throughout life. It can seriously prevent us from living our dreams.  Whether you are a parent, business professionals, an entrepreneur, a CEO or an MD, we all go through phases of "I'm not good enough", “I can’t do this..", " I doubt I can…", "what if this doesn't work"…etc. We often create doom scenarios and we rehearse this negative situation so many times in our heads that we keep going in circles and never really dare to take off.

Where does this negative-self talk come from? As you journey through life you are constantly picking up "data" about different areas of your life- relationships, health, money, self worth, marriage, children etc. since our childhood days.  So for example, if growing up you were constantly compared to your siblings and made to feel "not as good as, as kind as, as smart as your sibling", now as an adult when you are offered a job promotion, or you want to do a challenging project, that "internalized critical voice" may come up and keep you from taking action.  Or if at some point in your life you had an experience where you were responsible for an important project and it failed, when you have any new opportunity, the negative voice may remind you of those failures and stop you from taking action. There could be any number of similar scenarios but I think you get the picture.

So how can you overcome this negative internal chatter that seems to paralyze you from moving forward?  Here are 4 steps to move past Negative Self -Talk.

Step 1: Take A Pause 
You can only stop something when you are consciously aware of it.
You can only become aware of what’s going on in and around you when you Take A Pause!

• So take a PAUSE   
• Listen to the Negative chatter in your head about the issue at hand (whether the issue is about health/money/a relationship/a pattern/ work etc.)

Step 2. Write It Down
You can't throw away the dirt or garbage if you don't see it  first.  Since the negative chatter is floating around in your head, it's good to collect it all in one place so you see it all!

• Get a piece of paper and a pencil
• Write down the negative Inner Chatter.
• Write your feelings, thoughts, limiting beliefs, memories, past experiences  about this issue (or issues)

Step 3: Question and Challenge – When we have negative chatter, and we blindly buy into it without questioning or challenging it. Why? Because it FEELS LIKE our truth. Because it has happened and it feels like an unchangeable fact of our lives!

But as we begin to QUESTION and CHALLENGE it, we recognize that it is far from the truth. In fact, often, it's a lie! So once you have written out all the negative chatter (and yes it will take a while if you are open, honest and willing to do the work), read the statement out loud to yourself one by one.  

QUESTION each negative statement. Ask yourself it that statement The Absolute Truth?  Unchangeable?

Find creative ways to challenge that negative statement.
See if you have ANY proof against that statement. Even a SINGLE experience/evidence to prove that that negative statement is not a FACT will do.

Step 4: Replace and Reframe - Once you've become aware of the negative chatter, questioned and challenged it, it will soften in its intensity. It won’t feel like an unchangeable truth. It will feel more flexible. Now, you can begin to introduce more supportive, encouraging, positive statement against each of the negative ones. Here are some examples:
             

Negative self-talk will always be a player as we move through life. The idea is not to stop it completely. I don't believe that it's realistically possible to do that. I do believe however that whenever the negative self talk surfaces, you need to acknowledge it, become aware of it, question and challenge it to soften its intensity and then creatively pivot the inner dialogue to a more supportive one. And get out there and go live your dreams!

Image Copyright: netsay / 123RF Stock Photo

My experience working with Shalini has been life changing!

Being a mother of two toddlers I found myself becoming very impatient and frustrated.  I noticed I was using the same high pitch laden phrases my mother used to say to me that I didn’t like to hear.

Even in the first session with Shalini, I feIt such relief, like a brick wall had been knocked down, weights lifted off my shoulders and I literally felt lighter. As we dived deeper I was able to make peace with my childhood, my mother and offload the invisible emotional backpack I didn’t even know I was carrying around.

Now I tap about 3 to 4 times a day to release my daily stresses. I find that it helps me refocus and see the positivity in every situation. I find that I can stay calm around my kids, staff, clients. Also, instead of stewing in the car about being stuck in traffic or angry that the plumber didn't show up, I tap and release the negativity and within minutes I find that I'm alright with the world and the world is alright with me. Thanks Shalini!

Pacharee Pantoomano
Co-Founder and Marketing Strategy Consultant at BrandNow.asia

Shalini is an internationally renowned Emotional and Physical Pain Relief Expert. She is also an international best selling author of the book Pebbles In The Pond Wave Three, co-authored with Lisa Nichols and others.

After doctors prescribed bed rest indefinitely due to an illness and chronic pain, she went on a profound journey - discovered tools that she used by herself and healed herself completely. Since then, she has helped hundreds of pain sufferers, sometimes including doctors, go from feeling stuck to relieved, and from frustration and anger to peace and clarity. Her work has been featured on national and international magazines, newspapers, and even on television.

Shalini is currently focused on working long term with a small group who are feeling sick of being stuck, who are ready and committed to doing what it takes to bring the big shifts they want.
You can visit her website, www.EFTThailand.com, email shalini@eftthailand.com, or complete an online survey at www.EFTThailand.com/mastery-path for a 45-minute free assessment session.